Time at college…
People say ‘Time Flies when you are having fun.’ But is this true?
This time two years ago I was waiting to have an appointment about an operation that I was meant to be having that August. I had finished my GCSE’s six weeks prior to this and I was feeling how I am feeling now that I have finished college. BORED! The operation was to detether my spinal cord and to prevent the pins and needles that I was experiencing in my back. The operation was planed for August 16th 2013 in a hospital in Bristol. The procedure was going to be straight forward and I was meant to be in hospital for five days and then spend the rest of the time recovering at home before starting college in September.
For anyone who knows me well they will know I have to be kept busy, otherwise I get bored and disheartened very easily. So having four months off after completing my GCSE’s was defiantly not welcome! As I said earlier the original plan was only to have a few days in hospital before getting out and going back to school to receive my GCSE results. As you can probably tell that plan did not get very far and I ended up staying in for eight days instead of five. This meant that my Mum had to go in to my school for me to receive the brown envelope that contained my results. At around the same time my brother and his family had just arrived back from Mozambique where they had been living for the previous 18 months. Everything was happening all at once! Once I was out of hospital and feeling better I started my IT course at Bath College.
It had not dawned on me that it was going to be completely different to school and therefore I don’t think I was ready for the change. For the whole of my school life I had support in all of my lessons and had someone to help me write down the lesson objectives and scribe for me in exams. This was to do with the fact that I found it hard to be able to get my ideas down on paper. It was not that it was impossible but it took me along time. Going to college for the first year at least I did not have that same support. I had someone I was able to go to if I needed extra help outside of my lessons but no one came in to my lessons. This at first was hard to get used to as I had been used to eleven years of support at Primary and Secondary school.
I never anticipated the fact that after a year I was thinking of changing the pathway of my education. The year had been difficult for a number of reasons. I was not getting the work done on time and not to the standard that was necessary. This was not because I did not understand the subject or I did not enjoy learning the subject but because of the environment that I was in. I was brought up in a Christian family and my parents are church leaders. My faith therefore is important to me. I am used to being surrounded at school by people who may not have the same values as I do and I respect that. However, being in college I found it very hard to be able to be accepted for who I am and did not feel I could be myself.
There were many comments made about Christianity and at first I managed to let go and ignore them. At the end of the day they were only views from other people. It was not until half way through the first year when I started to feel alone and was not happy that I was not able to be myself. At school I was able to express myself and talk freely about my faith where as in college it was not as easy. Now, I am not saying that all my class mates were like this. One or two people I could talk to about my faith however, the majority of the class I felt as if I was not able to be as open.
I knew that the college had a Chaplain who was called Rob but I had not gone to visit him. I think it was because I did not want to feel as if I was moaning about something that would probably turn out to be nothing. I am always conscious about how I come across to people and end up appologising if I feel if I am wasting someones time or if I am moaning too much! However, he did not seem to mind if I was to moan or if I became too negative. He was always there to listen and to give good advice. We arranged to meet up on a regular basis. I felt okay going to college after seeing him as I knew I could go and be myself and not be judged by anyone.
When it came to the second year my timetable changed and I was in college different days to the previous year. It had been arranged that I would be in a different class where I was able to have extra support and I was able to have someone supporting me in each lesson. I was finding it a lot easier and I was able to stick to the deadlines and hand in work that I had put 100% effort in. I was also finding the class easier and was able to get on with people and feel as if I could be myself rather than hide away in a corner. I then Began to slide back and miss deadlines. I then began to get upset and disheartened. It was not a nice feeling. I felt as if I had failed at something. I started to feel very undermined by people all around me and I felt as if I was doing the course just to get through the year rather than because I wanted to do the subject. I still went to visit Rob on a regular basis and it helped to talk about the things that I was finding difficult.
So back to the Question, Yes there were difficult times but I also made some very good and close friends. The past two years have been fun!